|
Editors
thought/rant archive!
06/17/2003
10:49
pm
Throughout the many years
I have been doing this website I have ranted and raved
about being in love. One opinion of mine that I have tried
to force on other people is the fact that I believe in
"love". If there's one thing that can bring you
out of the depths of hopelessness it's love.
Where did my belief in
love come from? From this point on I will try and explain
and explore my one belief that will never
falter.
Throughout life one will
experience different kinds of love. The love of your
parents, the love of your family, the love of a
girlfriend, the love of a friend, the love of a child. You
will give love, you will get love, fuck you might even
destroy love or even create love.
To tell you the truth I
don't know where this strong belief came from. I have
experienced love in every form and it feels good to love
and to be loved.
I truly believe love is
why we're on this earth. To experience it, to experience
something so great that it cannot be defined in words
(although I'm trying my best to define it). What makes
love so great? I'm not sure to be honest, that really
sounds like a simple question doesn't it? I truly don't
know the answer to that one.
What makes love so great?
I think I can touch base on a portion of why, but there's
so much to love. The main thing is that love feels
good.
Something just recently
has dawned on me. I have always been a very materialistic
person, that is until recently. If anyone out there is
reading this, stop what your doing, take a long hard look
at your life and if you think even for a second that your
life is defined by things around you and your taking for
granted your family, your friends, your lover. Then wake
the fuck up.. Open your eyes and look at your lover or
your child and imagine life without them. Sucks doesn't
it?
Wake the fuck up
Greg/Anarchy
06/07/2003
9:21
pm
(This was written out
of continuity and should not be read with the other
sections of the comic. I just felt like writing.)
Betrayal?
“What
the fuck!?!?!?!”
“How
dare you!?!?!”
“Fuck
you Anarchy!?!”
A huge
fist made of granite punches Anarchy in the chest.. He
falls..
“How
could you do this to me?!?!”
Tank
picks Anarchy up by the hair and throws him across the
room, he slams into a wall..
“She
was my girl!?!?!” “my fucking girl!?! What the fuck is
wrong with you!?!”
Tank
grabs Anarchy by the shirt.. Holds him up to his snarling
face!
“I
fucking hate you! I fucking hate you with all that I am!!”
Tank
drops Anarchy to the floor..
3
Months earlier..
“Your
beautiful..”
“Please
stop.. Don’t say that to me..”
“I
wouldn’t say that If I didn’t mean it..”
“I
know that.. but I’m not use to hearing it”
“Well
get use to it, because I only speak the truth”
Greg
cups her face in his hands.. Brings his lips closer to
hers.. Their lips embrace..
“Why
did you do that?”
“I
had to.. I’m sorry..”
“Please
don’t be sorry… You
have nothing to be sorry about….”
2
months later..
“Greg,
I think I’m losing her.. She’s so distant”
“Your
not losing her, just give her some time, she’s been
through a lot, the suicide and everything that’s going
on it’s a lot to take in..”
“I
know…”
Greg
wraps his arms around Tank “it’ll be ok
bro!”
One week later
“God
damn, it’s amazing we end up together so much?”
“I
guess fate is smiling upon us?”
“I
guess so.. I have to tell you something, this is hard for
me to say..”
“You
know you can tell me anything?”
“I
know..”
“Than
tell me..” Greg smiles at her..
“I
don’t know if I can..”
“Just
try..”
She
takes a deep breathe.. “I’m in love with you..”
Greg
stops the car… Looks over at her, cups her face in his
hands.. kisses her.. “God…. I love you too..”
“What
does this mean?”
“I
don’t know what this means..”
“This
is all going to end horribly”
Back
to the present..
Anarchy
stands.. A look of horror on his face..
“Why
did you do this to me!!” Tank kicks Anarchy to the
ground!.. “WHY!” He screams.. “Answer me!!!!”
Greg
picks himself back up…
“Wasn’t
I a good friend Greg? Wasn’t I? Answer me!”
“I
couldn’t help it…”
“What
the fuck does that mean!?”
“You
just don’t understand… Feelings got involved… You
know me… You know me better than anyone knows me.. I’m
use to getting what I want, and god forgive me, I wanted
her.. I didn’t think this would happen, neither of us
thought this was going to happen.. But it did, we fell in
love with each other, it wasn’t one more than the other,
if anyone is to blame, blame both of us, I’m sorry bro
but I love her.. Love does funny things to people and
please, please know I/we never meant to hurt you.. I would
do anything for you man, anything all you have to do is
ask and I would kill someone for you.. I never meant for
this to happen..”
“God
damn it! That’s no fucking excuse!!!”
“I
know it’s not, Jesus, I know it’s not an excuse..”
Tank
kicks Greg again..
“FIGHT
BACK!” He yells!
“I
can’t…”
“Why
the fuck not?!?!”
“Because
I deserve this, I deserve whatever you do to me…”
Tank
looks at Greg in disgust.. “Get out of my face..”
“I
know that look tank.. it’s the same look I felt for you
about a year ago.. Remember?”
“What
the fuck are you talking about?..”
“I
came over here, and lo and fucking behold, she’s doing
cocaine.. Do you know why she’s doing it, to feel
fucking closer to you, how fucked up is that, when your
girl has to do that kind of shit to feel closer to you and
what do you do? Do you try and stop her? No you let
her do it, You disgust me.. You have disgusted me the last
fucking year.. You don’t deserve her.. You better
fucking know what you have…”
Anarchy
slams the door behind him..
The
future (Not
known how far in the future)
“How
are you?”
“I’m
good.. You?”
“could
be better..”
“How
is she?”
“She’s
good too..”
“I’m
glad to hear that..”
“I
backed off for you”
“I
know..”
“Do
you know how hard that was to do?”
“I
think I do..”
“It
was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my
life.. I love her.. ”
“She
is happy..”
“She
better be.. She means the world to me..”
Anarchy
holds out his hand.. Tank shakes it..
Anarchy
walks away, he looks back at Tank..
“I
love you man.. take care of her”
“I
know and I will..”
Greg/Anarchy
05/27/2003
10:33
pm
A question
Where am I
What's the time
Who am I
Should this thing fucking rhyme
A day
A night
A star
Look how it shines so bright
Follow me please
I don't know if I can
I want to know who I am
I am just a man
Strength
Honesty
Integrity
Courage
Show me the way
Don't take a wrong turn
I hope I don't fucking burn
That's all I have to say
Greg/Anarchy
04/06/2003
11:50
pm
War and Peace
We are at war and for the
first time in my life I'm at a loss for words. That's why
it's taken me so long to comment on this fucked up
situation.
John F. Kennedy once
said:
"Let both sides, for
the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals
for the inspection and control of arms -- and bring the
absolute power to destroy other nations under the absolute
control of all nations."
Those words keep ringing
in my mind, this war was not a unified decision by all
nations, this war is all about revenge and oil. Now please
keep in mind I am not Anti-war or Anti-Bush. I have the
utmost respect for him because he is the President of the
United States, but it really seems our agenda in this
situation is fucked up.
We have North Korea who can
hit us with a nuclear weapon, but we don't seem to care
about that, N. Korea is very defiant, we tell them to stop
and they say fuck you, we are going to keep doing what we've
been doing.
Is it our job to liberate
Iraq? How about Cambodia, or South Africa? 4 out of 6
people die in Africa of Aids every day, if it was our job
to liberate them why not liberate Africa with a bunch of
condoms? Operation condom distribution it
could be called.
Many deaths will result
from this war, many civilian deaths, many women and
children will die.. Iraqi kids are innocent, just like our
kids are.
Give diplomacy and peace
a fucking chance.
Greg/Anarchy
03/28/2003
12:48
am
Free
your mind
Free
your mind from thoughts of desperation, free your mind
from thoughts of hate, greed, contempt and disrespect.. In
my 27 years on this earth I have come to a few conclusions
as to why we're here. Our reason for existence..
Allow
me to discuss these few points with you..
1.
God: There is a god, I believe this without
a doubt, maybe it's because I have (or need) to believe
this. When your young you really don't think much about
God or if you look at the current younger generation,
which in my opinion they do not believe in God or a higher
power.. In youth you tend to be care free, or care less
for that matter..
However,
when your older and you go through some shit, people dying
that you love, your family, friends etc. When you go
through different situations, whatever they may be, You
see things differently.. I see things differently than
when I was younger and I truly believe that I will see my
friends and family again when I die, because I believe
that there is a heaven and a God.
I
also believe a soul has to learn or "evolve", so
therefore I also believe in reincarnation. When you die
you won't necessarily see the family that you knew but I
believe you will see their soul and you will know exactly
who they were in the life that you just left.
2.
Love: In my humble opinion, we need this.
Love is something a human being needs so that he or she
feels like going on or moving forward in this life. Love
is something that I cannot express in words. We need
people to love us so we don't feel completely fucking
useless.
Love
is simple, human beings need to feel and express love.
Think how pathetic you would feel if you had no love
through your life. Nuff said.
3.
Free your mind: This is a little bit harder
to explain and a point I have come to believe in fairly
recently.. Think of "freeing your mind" as a
sort of meditation.. Something to cleanse your soul, you
can get through each day better if your relaxed and your
mind isn't constantly thinking about stupid shit or
situations that you have been through. How can you free
your mind?
Well
that's something your going to have to figure out for
yourself.
Greg/Anarchy
01/25/2003
9:30 pm
"Now
that I understand this right, let me take it to the night.
This revolution has just begun.." Can
you feel it? Something big is about to happen, don't ask
me what but it will happen.. We're being mother fucking
programmed, mother fucking brainwashed.. This Government,
this world, is not right, where's that voice that's so desperately
needed? I
have always used the name Anarchy as my
screen name/online name.. Even when I was a kid in school
I gained the nickname Anarchy for the simple reason
whenever I was around, stupid, weird shit would happen..
Chaotic things.. Maybe
there is a reason for this? Or maybe I'm a blabbering
idiot.. A few emails recently though have stated,
"dear Greg, you have interesting things to say"
blah blah blah we love the site blah blah blah.. You get
the point.. Great
things out of the comic book industry lately.. Go buy 30
days of night by Steve Niles right now. Your local comic
shop might be out of all 3 issues, so you might have to go
on Ebay to get it. Or go to your local comic
shop and buy the graphic novel which reprints all 3
issues. Fucking fantastic.. Read a brief synopsis here
if your interested. A
few points of interest.. Read this,
I have titled it "the return.." Also
read "Thoughts
From Someone Who’s Not The Editor." (hit cancel if it
prompts you for a password.) Oh
and the new name for our Ezine has switched from
"Chaos Theory" to "Oblivion".. Greg/Anarchy
12/19/2002 11:26
pm
A new day
and new shit to contend with. I feel like my brain is
going through a fucking mental breakdown because of all
this shit I'm going through.
I really
hate dealing with people at work, I hate talking to them,
I hate fixing their computer, I hate going to meetings and
having to listen to them. Today we had a meeting on our
new electronic timesheets we now have to fill out online.
I fell asleep through the whole meeting, caught myself
snoring twice.
I just don't
seem to care about anything anymore and this is the shit I
do, maybe taking it a bit far because
I really don't give a shit. Why do I do it? Maybe in the
hopes I'll get fired and do something I enjoy and go on
unemployment. That's pretty fucked up right?
Anyway
nothing really new going on in the publishing front, I
really have to get some of this new material / writings
online.
I'll
probably do that this weekend. Gotta get through the rest
of the week at work first though.
Keep it
real..
Greg/Anarchy
12/17/2002 12:37
am
Jill
Jill goes to
court tomorrow for her Cumberland County charges. She's got a lot of charges against her However, our
system sucks. In the last 2 months I have found out how
inmates are treated in correctional facilities, Hell
including myself and I was just visiting her.
The past 2
months I have met some really idiotic cops, guards that
have just been plain assholes. Specifically Atlantic
County Jail (Minus the boot camp area which have
been pretty cool), Atlantic County Jail Fucking Sux.
I hope all you idiots that work there, your daughters or
girlfriends or wives get arrested and you all have to deal
with the crap you have put me through!
I hope the
judge is able to see that Jill is a changed person and
wants to better herself. She's a really good person with a
good heart. Say a prayer for her ok?
Greg/Anarchy
12/09/2002 6:53
pm
Brain
Tumors, Multiple Sclerosis, Mental Health and Comics.
Well the doctors are 100%
sure it's not a brain tumor, on the other hand the lesions
on my brain might still be MS or even Lymes Disease. They
also think I have severe depression and have put me on
Paxel which I'm really looking forward to for some odd
reason or another.
I'm going to work next on
putting some previews of our upcoming comic book on the
site, so in the next few days be on the lookout for that,
there are some pretty cool images and photos that I have so
far.
If you guys and Gals want
to check out a pretty cool comic strip click this link http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/
it's called "Get Fuzzy" and it's pretty damn
funny, the look of the cat alone cracks me up.
Greg/Anarchy
12/06/2002 12:52
pm
Car Accident and
other things
I was involved in a car
accident 2 weeks ago Monday. I don't know how close I came
to death however, everyone is telling me I shouldn't of
walked away from the accident and seeing my car I can
understand how they can think that.
My head hit and shattered
my windshield and I had a nice bruise (well more than a
bruise my face looked like a watermelon) on my forehead
which turned into a blood clot that I had to have operated
on 3 days after the accident.
In the process of all
this crap, I had a catscan and an MRI and I might have Multiple Sclerosis.
They don't know for sure and my blood work starts this
week..
In life people tend to
take things for granted, little things. Let me say this
start living life and don't let life live you, Do things
that you have always wanted to do, fuck what society wants
you to do. Live life to its fullest, it's why were put on
this earth..
I have more to say but
for now this is it. I'll type up more later, maybe even
update the site as I'm just starting to feel better from
everything that has been going on.
Part 2
1:00
pm
Ok I'm back, I didn't
intend to be back so quick but some things are really
fucking bothering me. I will be updating the site ASAP, if
nothing else this site helps me to keep a piece of mind,
it keeps my sanity in check and trust me I have a shit
load to update. Expect the comic section and the
mp3 section to be up soon and the other literature parts
of the site.
In other news you can
read about Jill
here.
Greg/Anarchy
Comic
What a conversation me
and my best friend had last night. it was about what we
would really enjoy out of life, and let me ramble on here
for a minute or two.
We both feel that what
were currently doing in our lives, ie: our job and where
were at personally and emotionally is completely and
totally unfulfilling. We agreed that even if we were both
the president of the united states we would still feel
really fucking crappy about our lives. We want to do
something we really enjoy doing, now say tomorrow I get
offered a job making 25 thousand dollars a year compared
to what I'm making now which is about 37k a year, say the
offer was something I really enjoyed doing, say writing
for a comic book company, for reading purposes we'll say I
was offered a job writing the incredible hulk for marvel
comics. I would jump on this opportunity. I really feel I
have something to say to people, something good that needs
to be said and the talent to do this, so why the fuck am I
fixing computers, dear god why?!?!?!
My friend agreed with me
that if he was offered a job for less money doing
something he really enjoyed he would also quit his current
job and do it!
My question is this. Is
this normal thinking why can't I be happy with what I'm
doing? I look at most people at work and wonder why the
fuck are you doing this! Don't you have a need to do
something with your life more than fixing these fucking
computers?
Now I am also working on
my own comic book, self published, and I would really feel
that once I get this done it's a goal in my life that's
completed and maybe just maybe I can get a message out to
people, even if they read what I write and think "god
damn this guys nuts" or "god damn that was the
greatest thing I have ever read", either way it would
help my mindset that I finally have completed something in
my life that I have always wanted to do.
I think I have
emotional/mental issues that really need to be addressed
sometime in the near future. :) (that's a smiley face for
the people that our wondering. Look at it sideways).
Greg/Anarchy
Sniper!
What the hell is wrong
with people and why the fuck can't we catch this fucking
sniper!
If I do something wrong
or illegal the cops are on top of me like flies on shit!
The shooting before last there was a cop giving someone a
traffic ticket right across the street where the victim
was shot, I mean come on people why can't we catch this
guy!
Now If I was him or her
(the sniper) which I'm not! I would have to be one sick
fuck but besides that. I would want to make a name for
myself, so what could I do to do to make a name for
myself?. Well for starters start sniping people off (which
he has been doing) and than I would go from State to State
and continue my onslaught and after a few hits in each
state, you stop! Now that's my thinking and mark my words
this fucking idiot just might do that and I pray to God
that the US has people that can think like this fucking
guy and stop this before anymore innocent people are
killed.
Am I the only one that
has this type of thinking? I read an article the other day
where some congressmen think video games are behind this
persons motivation and that's where he got this idea from,
give me a fucking break! He's a fucking lunatic and
doesn't need video games to help him out or give him new
ideas or motivation!
"I am God!"
You know what that meant? Nothing, it was a case of
"I think I'll throw a tarot card into this scenario
and make people think it means something" When it absolutely
means fucking nothing, This person is a sick fuck and
he/she is bound to come up with new ideas to keep the
authorities guessing!
Greg/Anarchy
Some
thoughts for the day!
Have you
ever been so unfulfilled in life? Are you so fucking tired
of everyone around you and how robotic they seem? Lately
I'm really feeling like this and I don't know why, I'm not
really depressed or suicidal or anything but it just seems
like there's nothing new out there, nothing new being done
and I don't have a way of getting over this feeling.
I had this
conversation with a few people at work yesterday and they
look at me like I'm a retard. I just can't see how working
on a computer (a square fucking box) can give anyone
fulfillment in their life. I'm thinking about being a
volunteer fire fighter in the hopes that helping others
will give me that fulfillment I'm looking for. Oh, and
than there's the reoccurring dream I keep having.
There's a
fire and man it's fucking burning a house like I have
never seen and I'm there (as a firefighter) no one will go
into the house and there's a child trapped inside
upstairs, I race into the house make it upstairs (In the
dream I'm seeing this unravel, looking at this happening
like a spectator but I can tell it's me that ran into the
house), I grab the child and go towards the window, the
other fighters are able to get the ladder up to the window
I go to carefully step onto the ladder and it somehow gets
destroyed, I look down and they have the net ready, I jump
with child in my arms, hit the net, the child is fine and
makes it out alive. When I hit the net, I bounce hard onto
the ground and end up breaking my neck. Thankfully I let
go of the child once I hit the net and the child lands
safely on the net.
So what the
fuck does that mean? Weird dream eh?
Anyway this
is the first time in months that I have updated this site.
I'll be working the next couple of days to get it
completely functional. Be advised only a few links work.
I have also
lost my Assistant editor, she has fallen off the face of
the earth, I have no idea where she is or even if she's
ok.. If anyone wants to help with this site please email
me. gregt@aupublishing.com
Talk Hard..
Greg/Anarchy
"As long as the
thought continues, as long as the wheel of the mind keeps
turning, we will never sink into Oblivion." From Oblivion
Issue one here.
| 
